Well, the past few days has been................nothing short of mental and physical fatigue.
It started with the first Prelim paper -- General Paper. I don't exactly dread it, but I am not looking at possible screwed-upness with rose-tinted glasses either. I think the composition wasn't as hard as I would expect, but it wasn't great. While technically I finished the paper, but frankly speaking, I didn't really finished the paper. I knew I could have written much more if I didn't procrastinate so much at the start. And the compre wasn't rocket science too, IMO. But that's just me speaking, and I could totally get shitty marks if it turns out bad.
Had lunch with some of my classmates after the paper. The guys in my class wants to go for a graduation trip to Taiwan after A-Levels. I really want to go, but I have recital coming up, not to mention where I would get the money to go. Sigh.
But the emotional rollercoaster started when my father called after lunch. I knew from his tone that something was severlely wrong. And then, the stomach-wrenching news came--
My great-grandmother has passed away.
According to him, she passed away the day before, which is Thursday. I could have rushed back for the ceremonial funeral if I knew right from the start, which is expected of the eldest (in rank) of each generation (yes, my grandfather is the eldest son, my father is his eldest son, and I'm the eldest son), but all my elders want me to stay back for Prelims. I was feeling kind of guilty because while my family is mourning at the funeral, I'm mugging away and dancing.
But I guess my presence wouldn't change a thing even if I went back. The only thing that's going to change if I went back is my already-stressed-up-and-fragile-state-of-mind and my Prelim results. That's not to say I don't miss my great-grandmother. She was an insprirational person with an amazing background, something which I'm sure I will document on this very blog in the future. Without her sacrifices, my family and me wouldn't be where we are now, which might or might not be a good thing.
Thankfully, I went to dance that night. Ahmad's class, as usual. Really took my mind off the stress and the untimely death. Really felt the song during the lesson, which is a great feeling.
-----------------------------------------------
Saturday was mediocre. I basically slacked the whole day away. Didn't do much either. Was taking a break from the intensive revision and the "unfolding drama" around me.
It kept raining, in streaks of grey.
----------------------------------------------
Sunday was a better day. Gave tuition in the morning before rushing off to Ahmad's class (in case you're wondering, this would be one of the last open classes I'll go from now onwards). Surprisingly few people went for his class that day. There were only like 6 out of his usual 20-30 ppl. Probably everyone is worn out from Suntec Dance the day before.
Revised econs after the lesson. Had dinner with Francis. A little note to dancers out there -- apparently, Francis was Ryan Tan's senior!!!
-------------------------------------------
Today morning was crappy. Was feeling tired from Sunday activities. And the MOE briefing was utterly boring. But I was rather delighted to meet Valencia there! What a coincidence! I had this feeling that I'll meet here there (kinda like "deja vu"), but I wasn't expecting it to happen. Was glad to meet a fellow dancer there.
Went to Junction 8 with the other Malaysian Scholars. It doesn't take a psychologist to see that there's this distance between me and them. Basically, eveyone there lead so different lives ( I mean those that actually DO have a life, ahem). Some spent their focus to
Went to walk around with my roommate after that. Haven't been to Junction 8 in ages! They have renovated some parts of it. It was quite nice actually. And the Addidas store there had a stock clearance sale!!! I got a T-shirt and basketball shorts for 35 each!!! Whoo! What a bargain! finally bought something to add to my limited dance outfits!!! Lol.
Read Microeconomics at night. I think I can finish up econs revision by tomorrow and get started on human geog. Hopefully can finish Math and Human Geog by this week. And have to do last minute revisions for Chem too!
----------------------------------------------------
I'll be performing for Singapore Dance Fest' 09!!! Whoo! Training starts tomorrow afternoon and it's once per week (for me, at least)! Yes, that means I'm preparing for 2 dance concerts THROUGHOUT Prelims. Including recital prac, which starts 2 weeks from now, I'll be dancing twice per week. I'm going to stop going for open classes soon and just focus on studies and the performances. So far I'm still doing ok, I think (ok, fine, more like I hope). Hopefully I can get good results for Prelims while preparing for the performances. I'm gonna need these performances to boost my portfolio.
And I've also met up with Nik, Huixian, and Brian last Tuesday. We went to O School to check the audition results. I got into Alex's item. To be honest, I was kinda disappointed. The disappointment must have shown on my face because Gin, one of the instructors, saw me and asked me whether I'm disappointed.
It's not that Alex is not "good enough" or something like that. All the instructors there are good at what they do. It's just a matter of preferrence. I just prefer Ryan's style. I really wanted to get into Ryan's item because I figured this would probably be my last time joining the recital if I manage to go overseas in the future. But I guess it's still ok that I'm in Alex's item, because at least he's still doing lyrical hip hop, and he's good.
We went for dinner afterthat. And also, we walked like 15 fifteen minutes just to get to buy goreng pisang (which is fried bananas in English, you know, for the "multicultural" Singaporeans out there who can't seem to understand Malay, for reasons that slip by me). The stall was closed and we had to settle for Mr.Bean, when there was a Mr.Bean outlet near O School. Brian, Brian, Brian. But at least I enjoyed the conversations and the time we spent. Somehow I am able to open myself up to them, unlike when I'm with other groups of people. Looking forward to be performing with them during recital!
So I think I'll stop at here for now. Gotta go sleep. Yawn.
All the best, everyone!
