I haven't been updating much these few days, so I really have loads to blog about. Things like the countdown @ KL, Xiao Long's (my good Malaysian friend, and don't ask me why he share the same name as Bruce Lee) birthday celebration, my father's birthday, a meeting with my long-lost good friend Brian (Not the Brian I knew from Oschool, heh. Parents these days should really come out with more creative names), etc.
But I'm not in the mood to blog about any of these, because I am feeling very down and sad now.
Today was supposed to be a happy day. It's my last day in Malaysia before returning to Singapore tomorrow, so I intended to spend my last day with my family and friends.
That's why I packed my luggage yesterday. While packing, I suddenly thought of Steve, one of my very close primary school friend. He used to be, anyway. You guys would have no idea what best friends we were to each other. I used to go his house once per week and have dinner with his family. I was rather close with their family and Steve's father treated me as his "godson".
Things were jolly, till the day I got my scholarship to study in Singapore. I remembered Steve's mum telling me that he couldn't sleep the night I told him I was heading to Singapore. I learnt that through time and distance, relationships can be weakened. But we still kept in contact though we were not as close as we used to be.
A few years back, Steve told me that his father had cancer. But somehow, his father managed to overcame the cancer and recovered. Or so we thought.
Suddenly reminded of all these, I keyed in the numbers and dialled Steve's home number. I spoke with his mum since he was taking a nap, then she told me that his father had cancer, for the second time in a row. I could hear from her tone that she was sad, thought her voice sounded otherwise. So I told her maybe we should meet up.
That was yesterday. I also planned to go karaoke with my friends after visiting Steve, but I canceled it after having an argument with my mum last night. She forbade me to go karaoke, because she said I have been going out and spending too much, and she wasn't keen on visiting Steve's family. I could understand why she was upset about the karaoke, but I don't understand why would she refuse to visit Steve's sick father. I told her, "Maybe you only want to visit him when it's his funeral".
I woke up with a foul mood this morning. I was ready to murder anyone who irritates me. I was THAT angry. The foul mood eventually fade off during breakfast.
We went to visit Steve's home after breakfast. I got the shock of my life when Steve's father greeted us at the door. He was very frail and could barely speak, far different from the energetic and fit person from the distant memories of the past. My heart felt as though it sank ten thousand feet into the ground.
Steve's mum filled us in on the details of the illness while his father went to rest. But I didn't need them to see how badly affected he was by the cancer. I felt rather sad for Steve because he had to care and worry for his father constantly, when any other teenager was having the time of their life. Hell, he even needs to sleep in the living room because his father could no longer go upstairs.
In his eyes, I could already see that he accepted the fact that his father could pass away "anytime", as told by the doctors. In a way, he was forced to grow up prematurely and assume the role of the head of the family.
I feel lucky that I have decided to call Steve yesterday. I realized that the "uncle" that I once knew could be gone very soon. At the same time, I regretted not calling earlier. Perhaps I could have hung out with Steve's family, just like the old days.
On the car ride back home, I had to force back the tears.
These tears. They can't stop falling...
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