Just came back from the High School section after speaking with Ms Esther Cheong, one of my favourite teachers from the High School section.
Since school ends amazingly early for Tuesdays, I head over to High School canteen to eat. I went to the High School library, thought of doing some revision for Math. When I got there, I saw Ms Cheong.
Ms Esther Cheong was always one of my favourite teachers of all times. True, she was what people would say........a little on the plump side. But beyond that, she is a very inspirational person. Honest, caring, and always not afraid to air her views. In fact, she's one of the loudest teachers around. She was my Geography and Social Studies teacher in Sec 4, and she was nothing short of inspirational. I heard alot of so-called "horror stories" when I was younger, stories where soccer balls were confiscated upon sight, or stories of being scolded by her sharp tongue.
When she stepped into the 4Q classroom on the first day of school, she was a different person. Her mother was suffering the terminal stage of cancer, and Ms Cheong was changed. She became calmer. She likes to share her life stories during her lessons, and that's why I like them. I treat is as a some sort of "life lessons", instead of the usual Geography and Social Studies lessons.
I remembered visitting her home twice: once during a gathering with her other relatives; another time when her mum passed away. I remembered the few times when we went for karaoke sessions with the other classmates. And gosh, she can sing! She sings ten times better than Brandon, I swear.
But I realized that even the most inspirational people have times when they're down. As we updated each other on our lives, she told me that she was suffering from diabetes and had lost quite a lot of weight as a result. This was on top of the other medical complications she has, even though she didn't tell me. The most shocking thing was I found out that she had been having suicidal thoughts in the past. Not exactly what one might hear from an inspirational person.
As we were chatting away in the library -- not surprisingly, we were the ones making the most noise -- we chatted about our troubles and what's going on with our lives. We talked about A-levels, my plans for the future, how much Christianity mean to her, her future plans, office politics.........basically, we talked about alot of stuff within that hour.
"Wilfred, you know why some of teachers hate me? Coz they say I'm over-confident. The truth is, I am filled with little insecurities."
"Then I guess we have the same problem."
"Oh, really?", she asked.
"Yeah. People say that about me too. I'm too confident, too sure of myself, too egoistic etc.... But I have alot of doubts about myself that I don't even know myself sometimes."
"What matters is as long as you have a good conscience, then you'll do fine."
"Then why are you so hard on yourself?" I asked.
"What do you mean by why? I have always been hard on myself" , she scoffed.
I guess the people who always look confident might not be confident. When I told her the actual reason I was placed in 3Q/4Q, she told me something that really struck me:
"You'll do fine, Wilfred. You always seem like you're happy. I'm sure you'll do okay."
I got quite a surprise, really. I didn't know what she would think of me as being a joyous person. And the amount of trust and confidence she had in me was really unexpected too.
It was nearing one o'clock and she had to leave for class.
"You know, Ms Cheong, you always scare the wits out of the younger sec students. Confiscating their soccer balls and basketballs and everything."
"I know." Then she gave a gleeful smile, turned around and let out a loud laugh before heading through the library exit.
She might not have known it, but she gave me the strength and determination to face the challenges ahead. I hope she will live joyously in times to come.
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