Beyond The Horizon

Hey there, stranger! You have a moment?

Come here, you can sit right next to me.

Can you see the sunset over the horizon?
Can you smell the salt in the air?
Can you feel the breeze of the ocean, brushing through your cheeks?
So tell me, stranger, what do you see?

Because all I can see is the dark clouds hanging
Blown closer and closer to the edge of the cliff we're sitting on

It will be soon before the hurricane hits
Amidst the strong gales and thunder
I hope I'll still have the time to enjoy
The feeling of raindrops rinsing my body

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Yeah, it's been awhile. Been getting so so busy and stressed up over stuff.

So what have I been up to for the past month?

The most obvious one is ,of course, studying for the upcoming Prelims. Been so freaking stressed over studies. I mean, I didn't go spectacularly well for block tests, did I? I really, really hope I am able to do well for Prelims and A-Levels, because I don't want to let my teachers, friends, parents and most importantly, myself, down. I believe most people are able to do well in their studies, and it's up to themselves to get the distinctions. So it's really up to me to get the 4As that I coveted for such a long time.

Other than that, I've been giving tuition for close to 2 months already. It's nice to have a supplement income to finance my expenses and dance. But I'm might consider to stop giving tuition because it's actually quite taxing, even though it's only once per week.

Been going for Ahmad's classes also. You guys can check out his videos on Facebook or Youtube. They are really damn dope. Here's some of them:



This one is one of my favourite choreos to dance to. Super-duper hard but super-duper fun. Hope you guys like it! It's "Geek In The Pink" by Jason Mraz.



This is another one that I liked too. A choreo to "Before It Began" by George Nozuka. Trust me, this is not as easy as it looks. Haha.

Also went for Ryan's classes. I'll let the vids do the talking, so here goes:





This one is a killer piece! And I can't do double spins! =( ARGH! But anyway, it was a very expressive piece and very contemp-like.

Moving on.....

I ALSO GOT INTO O SCHOOL RECITAL 2009!!! WHOO!!!

Congrats to all those that got in! Looking at the list, I am so EXCITED to be performing with so many of my dance friends from O School. My whole dance gang (Nik, Diana, Ie Ching, Huixian, Freddie, Brian) got in! Dope people like Luqman, Jeremy, Joey and Benjamin got in! And some of my coursemates like Jan, Andy and Theresa got in too! I can tell this is going to be a fun and memorable experience. This year's recital will be BIGGER and BETTER!

On the other hand, I do feel sad for people like Felicia and Nicholas because I think they deserved to get in. Ah well, I hope don't fret over it and be sad for too long. There's always another chance.I understand how they feel because I didn't pass the auditions last year too. But I managed to get the chance to perform because Daniel was nice enough to accomodate me. I guess they weren't so lucky.....

Jus got off the phone from talking with Nic.Tay and Ahmad. Basically, Ahmad asked a bunch of his students to perform for Dance Fest' 09 @ Esplanade, which is going to be held on October 25. I really, really, really want to join, but the training is twice per week, on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I'm fucking afraid that this will screw up my Prelims and most worrysomely, my A-levels. At the same time, I really need this to boost my portfolio, which is devoid of any internal CCA. ARGH!!! I need to give Ahmad a definite answer by tomorrow, latest. Sigh.

If I do take this up, I'll probably stop going for any open classes anymore. Still, I'll be dancing 3 nights per week, which means I need to study like hell during the morning and afternoon. Plus I have once per week tuition. Which means I probably won't have anymore free time. Do I want to be in this future? I wonder if I'm screwing myself in the ass.

If only I could see what's beyond the horizon.

The Inspirational Teacher

Just came back from the High School section after speaking with Ms Esther Cheong, one of my favourite teachers from the High School section.

Since school ends amazingly early for Tuesdays, I head over to High School canteen to eat. I went to the High School library, thought of doing some revision for Math. When I got there, I saw Ms Cheong.

Ms Esther Cheong was always one of my favourite teachers of all times. True, she was what people would say........a little on the plump side. But beyond that, she is a very inspirational person. Honest, caring, and always not afraid to air her views. In fact, she's one of the loudest teachers around. She was my Geography and Social Studies teacher in Sec 4, and she was nothing short of inspirational. I heard alot of so-called "horror stories" when I was younger, stories where soccer balls were confiscated upon sight, or stories of being scolded by her sharp tongue.

When she stepped into the 4Q classroom on the first day of school, she was a different person. Her mother was suffering the terminal stage of cancer, and Ms Cheong was changed. She became calmer. She likes to share her life stories during her lessons, and that's why I like them. I treat is as a some sort of "life lessons", instead of the usual Geography and Social Studies lessons.

I remembered visitting her home twice: once during a gathering with her other relatives; another time when her mum passed away. I remembered the few times when we went for karaoke sessions with the other classmates. And gosh, she can sing! She sings ten times better than Brandon, I swear.

But I realized that even the most inspirational people have times when they're down. As we updated each other on our lives, she told me that she was suffering from diabetes and had lost quite a lot of weight as a result. This was on top of the other medical complications she has, even though she didn't tell me. The most shocking thing was I found out that she had been having suicidal thoughts in the past. Not exactly what one might hear from an inspirational person.

As we were chatting away in the library -- not surprisingly, we were the ones making the most noise -- we chatted about our troubles and what's going on with our lives. We talked about A-levels, my plans for the future, how much Christianity mean to her, her future plans, office politics.........basically, we talked about alot of stuff within that hour.

"Wilfred, you know why some of teachers hate me? Coz they say I'm over-confident. The truth is, I am filled with little insecurities."

"Then I guess we have the same problem."

"Oh, really?", she asked.

"Yeah. People say that about me too. I'm too confident, too sure of myself, too egoistic etc.... But I have alot of doubts about myself that I don't even know myself sometimes."

"What matters is as long as you have a good conscience, then you'll do fine."

"Then why are you so hard on yourself?" I asked.

"What do you mean by why? I have always been hard on myself" , she scoffed.

I guess the people who always look confident might not be confident. When I told her the actual reason I was placed in 3Q/4Q, she told me something that really struck me:

"You'll do fine, Wilfred. You always seem like you're happy. I'm sure you'll do okay."

I got quite a surprise, really. I didn't know what she would think of me as being a joyous person. And the amount of trust and confidence she had in me was really unexpected too.

It was nearing one o'clock and she had to leave for class.

"You know, Ms Cheong, you always scare the wits out of the younger sec students. Confiscating their soccer balls and basketballs and everything."

"I know." Then she gave a gleeful smile, turned around and let out a loud laugh before heading through the library exit.

She might not have known it, but she gave me the strength and determination to face the challenges ahead. I hope she will live joyously in times to come.

It's Back Again!

Attention, all dancers! The one big event that you have been waiting for is coming. Feast your eyes on this:


Yes, I know I already mentioned this on my post yesterday. But good news is worth spreading! Just thinking about it makes me remember all the fun times I had last year. I hope this year will be better. If it weren't for A-levels, I would have tried out for popping too. My only worry is whether I can manage my time well.

Btw, all dancers can only audition for UP TO 2 genres. Hip hop/LA/Lyrical Hip hop all considered under one genre.

Anyways, hope to see you guys on the audition day!

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Had a great day today. A break from the shitty week I had.

I actually started my revision proper this afternoon. Went for Ahmad's beginner class afterwards. I realized mugging + dance later = braindead. Remember the formula, guys. My mind went blank towards the end of the open class.

Had dinner with Ahmad then hanged out at Danzpeople after that. Meanwhile, the instructors was having their own practice. I continued revising Chem at the lobby, then went to use the small studio when I was done with the revision. Ahmad told me I can use the studio when I want to! Cool right? Just that I have to inform him beforehand. I like the studio man. Looks like I have found a new practice spot now that PE studio is used as the "quarantine room".

Oh yeah, btw, Ie Ching pang-seh-ed me AGAIN! Nevermind.

I want to apologize to Diana for not going to watch What The Funk Vol. 7. She got into top 8 AGAIN!!! Wow, I'm damn impressed by her improvement. If I don't practice hard, I'll lag behind like crazy. But how am I suppose to practice hard now that A-levels are so near T.T.

Had a long chat with Diana through the phone. It was nice talking to her again. I jokingly said we should form a crew next time, but she seriously replied "yeah". Lol. We must see how first man. But I like the idea though. Heh. Eh, We should really have more conversations through the phone next time. =D

Looking forward to dinner with Nik, Brian and Huixian on Monday night.

So............Tomorrow will be more intensive revision + dancing. Hope it will be the start of a better week.

The Man In The Mirror

I had a really shitty week.

Part of it is due to my own fault. Didn't study much for Block Test II, so now I'm feeling the consequence of it. Shitty effort equates to shitty results. My parents are probably going to have a heart attack when they see the result slip. Not the most pretty sight on Earth. Now I'm really stressed up about Prelims, which is coming in about 5 weeks. I lost my focus for Block Test, but I swear I'll give it my all for Prelims and A-Levels.

I took 2 hours to sit down and list all the topics for each subject and organizing my schedule. Then I realized that 5 weeks is barely enough. 24 hours seems very short right now. The problem is compounded by the fact that all the teachers are spamming revision work, tutorials, consultations and whatsoever. I'm pretty sure Ms Ooi will give me a timetable and list my study plan for her again, as if I don't know how to do it myself. It's really intellectually quite insulting.

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By the way, there was no flag raising for these few weeks. Just when I thought the school finally see the uselessness of the propaganda, they decided to bring it back again. And these few weeks have been kinda retarded and fucking irritating. Since there's no flag raising, one might think that it's natural to reach school later, after all, the pointless propaganda they call "flag raising" was gone.

But NO, they want us to reach school the same fucking time!

It must be the idea of some smart-ass sitting in the office. Give us students a break, will you? We are all going through a rough time, and you HAD to make us wake up early, don't you. I don't see polytechnics have flag raising and universities having flag raising everyday. Do you? You and your stupid traditions and propaganda. How is the school supposed to adapt to modern culture when it still adheres to rigid traditions? Change is needed to evolve and survive. No wonder more and more smart students choose to go to polytechnics nowadays. No uniforms, no fucking flag raising, no hair check etc. I'm sorry, HCI, but this is the sad truth. The rules suck. Big time.

As a result of the whole situation, students are playing hide-and-seek with the teachers every morning. More so, now that we still need to come to school early even though there's no flag raising. It's really quite pathetic. Teachers had to be stationed at certain entrances to catch students, while students are searching for shortcuts and secret passages to avoid detection. It's almost as though the teachers had nothing better to do.

Have fun playing your cat-and-mouse games, but you'll never catch us.

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Amidst all the busyness, O School Recital is back! The auditions falls on 23rd August, which is coincidentally the same day as my younger bro's birthday. I realized I kinda need to get in to fill my portfolio. At the same time, I'm kinda worried about all the rehearsals affecting my studies. But I managed to do well for Promos last year through the weekly rehearsals, and I guess I'll have to do the same this year, assuming I got in the recital again. I really really hope I could get into LA/Lyrical Hip Hop this year.

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But the thing that made my week shitty was when I found out that there were "friends" spreading bad news about me behind my back. This is what I consider the ultimate betrayal of friendship.

Imagine people that you have known for so long spreading rumors and making fun of you behind your back. I totally had no idea of it since they act so nicely in front of me. But now that the cat's out of the bag, I see what they really are. Call me naive, but I don't badmouth my friends behind their backs, and I expect them to do the same. If you guys have problems with me, then come and tell me straight in the face. Don't act like some fucking pussy, guys.

Not only I'm bothered by the act, I'm also bothered by the contents of what they say. I admit that I made mistakes in the past, and I'm really not proud of them. If you want to talk about those things, then fine, it's up to you since I really made those mistakes. But some of things you say don't even have a basis. Looks like you don't know me well at all, even though we had known each other for long.

The best part is that now that I know everything, I'm just taking my time and observe what kind of hypocrites they can be. I am really disappointed by the whole incident. The funniest part is actually they also backstabbed each other. Wow, they really are "close friends", aren't they? But I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. A few more months then we'll graduate. Don't expect me to keep in contact with some of you guys. It's not like we were really close friends anyway. I think I'll be using the blocking feature on Facebook after that.

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Anyway, I started going for Ryan's Lyrical Hip Hop class again since last week. This was the choreo used by him--



Hope you guys enjoyed watching the video as much as I enjoy dancing it. It was really a very nice choreo, and it's not easy too. Had a few mistakes here and they in the video.

And I'll be going for Ahmad's class with Ie Ching on Saturday evening!!! Haven't seen my favourite "bimbo" in a long time. Haha. Tomorrow will be the day we spent catching up!!! Yay!

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When the time runs deep into the wee hours, I would be thinking of you. Hope you'll do okay for your upcoming exams too. We may not have the chance to see each other often, but I hope you know that I'm always thinking of you.

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So, I guess I'll end here. I congratulate you if you actually managed to finish reading the long post. I also apologize that you had to read through my unpleasant rants.

Till then, may you reflect on the reflection in the mirror.

River Flows In You

Note: I guess "The Man In The Mirror" have to come later because I have a sudden, overwhelming desire to blog about other stuff right now.

Looking at the clock right now,
2 a.m. in the morning.
Yet,
I couldn't sleep.

When I close my eyes,
All I could picture of is you.
I turned from one side of the bed to the other,
Hoping that it was you right next to me.
But when I open my eyes,
All I see is --
Nothingness;
Just darkness of the night.

Fate.
Once an implausible idea.
The idea of arranged coincidence becomes real,
As I reminiscence about our time together.

I miss the late nights we spent;
I miss how you sip your coffee;
I miss the messages you sent;
I miss the smile on your face.

What could be a greater irony than this?
It's almost as though
Fate
Decided a divine comedy should be staged.

Now I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Clear yet shrouded
Near yet far

"Even as the moon remained still,
The river still flows"
That's what you said,
Asking me to move on.
You are my perfect ending
But I don't want you to be anchored by me

So I'll make this loud and clear:

I'll wait--

Will you?

R.I.P Michael Jackson

Note: I split my post into 3 parts -- "That's Why I Love Sundays", "R.I.P Michael Jackson", and "The Man In The Mirror" -- because they are all posts that I think deserve a post of their own. Additionally, the post would be too long if I were to merge them together. Hope you guys enjoy reading as much as I enjoy typing them.After I signed in on Facebook, all I see was messages and tributes to Michael Jackson on the home page. At first I thought it was someone's idea of a practical joke. I mean, how could someone who dances 4 hours per day, someone who is about to launch his last world tour suddenly pass away right?

Wrong.

I got quite a shock when I Googled an article regarding MJ's death. Apparently, he passed away from a heart attack. Not the most glorious death for the "King Of Pop", but shocking nevertheless. I couldn't help noticing the pun, as in how MJ's heart "popped" out on him.

I'll admit that I didn't really have a good impression, amidst news of child molestation charges and broken noses. In fact, I was quite cynical of him. After his death, I spent one hour reading up on his achievements and life stories. It was then I realized that he was truly a great musician, something that I fogged by my cloud of cynicism.

He started out with Jackson 5 at the age of 5, singing evergreen tunes like "I Want You Back" and "ABC". He then started his own solo career, with each album being more successful than the previous one. Time and again, he has proven himself to have the ability to fuse songs of different genres together to create something new. Like who could forget the pop songs infused with funk beats, such as "Smooth Criminal" and "Bille Jean", or the more recent hip-hop inspired songs such as "They Don't Care About Us", or gospel-ballads like "Man In The Mirror" and "Heal The World". It was interesting to see his music evolved along with changing times.
He also turned music videos into a form of art. Back then, MVs are all singing not advertising, not much of aesthetics make-up such as storyline and special effects. But MJ is able to turn them into an art form under his directing, with his award-winning music videos "Smooth Criminal", "Thriller", and "Scream". MTV would never be what it is today without him.He leads a very hard life at times. He was abused by his father at a young age. He suffered skin problems, which was the reason why his skin turned pale white. His health deteriorates over time. And his financial manager cheated him of his money. Despite all this, he still managed to become a good dancer and an even better musician.

I spent one whole afternoon watching his music videos and listening to his works. Looking back, it was a pity he passed away just before the launch of the his final world tour, (ironically) named "This Is It". It was supposed to be the big bang to the end of his career. It never came. I watched a small part of the rehearsal video which was released a few days ago, and I could tell that this was going to be IT, the biggest concert for him. Micheal Jackson looked like he got his voice and his groove again, and it was great watching him being on stage doing his thing.

If you guys are interested in listening to his music, below is the list of songs I recommend you to listen to:

Smooth Criminal
Billie Jean
Dirty Diana
Earth Song
Heal The World
Black Or White
Remember The Time
Thriller
Beat It
They Don't Care About Us
Man In The Mirror
You Rock My World
Scream

My personal favourite is "Man In The Mirror". I really like the "chill" feeling at the start and how it ends on a high note. Not to mention, the lyrics are well-written and are very meaningful.



Thank You, Michael Jackson for bringing great music to the world. You are a great dancer, singer and musician. If there's anything I learned through your death, it would be that I shouldn't judge people by their flaws.

May you rest in peace.

That's Why I <3 Sundays

Note: I split my post into 3 parts -- "That's Why I Love Sundays", "R.I.P Michael Jackson", and "The Man In The Mirror" -- because they are all posts that I think deserve a post of their own. Additionally, the post would be too long if I were to merge them together. Hope you guys enjoy reading as much as I enjoy typing them.

I'm beginning to love Sundays more and more.

Used to hate them because it made me feel like I can't let fully relax because the next day is a schooling day. That would mean I need to finish my homework, do my laundry, clean my room, sleep earlier than I would like to etc. Basically, things I have to do to prepare for the week ahead.

Nowadays, I'm enjoying my Sundays. I still have to do all those stuff mentioned just now. It's because I now have weekly classes to look forward to on Sunday. And I also like to hang out with the other dancers after class.

I literally spent the whole day at PoMo yesterday. Woke up around 12pm. Reached PoMo just in time for Ahmad's class. He continued last week's choreo, which was to "Relax(Take It Easy)" by Mika. This week's choreo was even harder than last week's. Not to mention, tiring too. Even though it wasn't as long as say.......his "Kiss Me Through The Phone" choreo (which was 16 FREAKING 8-BEATS to be taught in 1.5 hours) or his "Flying Solo" choreo, but this choreo was dead tiring. When a choreo is tiring and hard to execute perfectly, you know that choreo is going to be very nice. So I really enjoyed his class yesterday. I'll post the link to the video when he uploads it on Facebook (seems to me Ahmad likes to upload his vids on Facebook nowadays, which means you gotta have an account to watch it).

After the class, hung out at the reception area while Ahmad was trying to repair the sound system in one of the studios. I dunno since when he became a handyman, but I'm definitely not going to ask him to repair anything anytime soon, because I ended up waiting nearly an hour and he DIDN'T manage to fix it.

While waiting for him to waste our timefix the speakers, I was watching Alex's class. The best part was that he used one of my FAVOURITE MICHAEL JACKSON SONG --- "Man In The Mirror". Liked his interpretation of the song, with some signature Michael Jackson moves thrown in. Man, I wish I had gone for his class. Seems to me alot of the instructors nowadays use Michael Jackson's songs in honor of his death.

So anyway, went to Mad Jack with Ahmad and Shu Ting. We were chatting away happily in the restaurant, so not surprisingly, we were the noisiest ones there. Ahmad treated both of us to chicken wings and cheese fries, which was nice of him. Which instructor would do that for his students? Not many, I bet. Some instructors don't even communicate with their students outside class, yet alone treat them to lunch.

Puay Son came to join us after Kate's class ended. Amusingly, Kate also used another one of MJ's songs --- "You Make Me Feel". Had a nice long chat with the 3 of them. I really like chatting with my dance friends. Mainly because they are mostly honest and genuine when it comes to what they say. Needless to say, I had a great afternoon with them.

Ahmad told me I had improved since I first took his lesson a few months back. According to him, I "hit the beat" better now. Which means my movements are clearer and more in tune with the rhythm nowadays. But I still have to work on my old bad habits and alot more if I want to improve. I was genuinely happy but yet humbled by his comments.

Afterthat, me and Ahmad went back to Danzppl. It was raining heavily outside PoMo and I don't have an umbrella with me. Ahmad had to teach another class while I hung out at the reception area -- again. Had an enlightening chat with Yi Fan, one of the instructors, whole the whole time I was there. Jie Xiao, another one of the instructors joined our convo. Before we knew it, Ahmad's class was over and Winnie came to meet him. You might think that's when we left, but wrong, we didn't leave. The 5 of us were the last few ppl there, and we continued chatting and gossiping. It was around 8 o'clock when Ahmad asked us to leave so he could lock the place.

While Ahmad and Winnie went to catch a movie, the 3 of us continued chatting at a coffee shop. Apparently, Jie Xiao is an alumni from HC, which pretty much means he's my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grand senior. Though I admit there's something about him that doensn't make him look like a HC mugger. Even he admits it himself. And both Yi Fan and Xiao are from NUS Dance Blast, which I plan to join if I got into NUS next year. According to them, A levels is the craziest paper they've ever taken, which didn't excite me especially since I have about 4.5 months left to A levels.

I make my way from PoMo to Dhoby Ghout MRT with Xiao. Could you still believe it was STILL raining???!!! It was already around 8.30pm, and it started raining in the early afternoon. When we reached the MRT, we parted ways there (coz I'm taking bus from the bus stop). But not before he gave a hug, which surprised me, largely because I have only hung out with him twice.

Moments like this are the reason why I love to hang out with the dancers. Don't get me wrong; I like to hang out with all kinds of ppl. In fact, a few of my close friends are non-dancers. There are all kinds of dancers: the egoistic and arrogant ones; the humble and down-to-earth kind; the loud and stylish ones. Just like how they are all types of people. But the ones I hang out with are genuine, honest and caring. And that's why I <3 them.

Hopefully the rest of my Sundays will be like this.

Forever.

P.S To Nik, Brian and Anne! When are you guys coming for Ahmad's lesson? I miss hanging out with you guys!!!