Together

Today was both a good and bad day for me. (By today, I mean Saturday)

After spending the whole afternoon watching the lastest season of Desperate Housewives, I decided to take a short nap before eating dinner and head for recital practice. Ideally, that was what was supposed to happen. Ideally.

What really did happen was this--

I received an sms from Nik around 7pm. "Fuck, 7pm is when the practice starts!" was my first thought. I quickly changed my clothes and stormed out of the boarding school. This was when my first stroke of bad luck came: when I was on the overhead bridge, I saw 171 passed by the bus stop. 171 is the only direct bus to OSchool from my place. Crap. All that running was for nothing.

I had to wait for a bloody 20 minutes before another 171 came. When I was waiting for the bloody bus, I took out my PSP -- only to find it out of battery. I forgot to charge it! So no music for me! Have you ever heard the phrase "Without music, life's a mistake"?

When the 171 pulled in, I already noticed that the bus was going rather slow, but I didn't really care because I was already late by half an hour. My suspicion was confirmed when the bus started moving again -- the bus goes from 0km/h to 10km/h in like 10 seconds! I immediately regretted boarding the bus at all.

To make things worse, there was a bloody jam leading into Orchad Road. It made me envy how fast snails can go, really. Not to mention, there are 2 bimbos on the bus chatting away loudly, which fucking irritate the hell out of me. What's with my luck with girls? Do I always have to get bimbos? Why not decent girls for a change?

I ended up being 1 hour and 30 minutes late for the practice. Bloody hell. But my mood started to change from bad to good at right about this point.

When I got into the hall, Daniel immediately caught me with a joke:

--------------------------------------
Me: I'm really sorry guys! The bloody bus was damn slow! Hope I didn't miss much....
Daniel: Oh, Wilfred! We changed the whole formation. And about the lifting, I changed it so that you're getting lifted by the legs. *proceed to give his evil grin*

Sidenote: I realized Daniel is starting to show his evil grin more often.
------------------------------------

Despite the serious nature of cleaning up, today's recital practice was quite light-hearted. Everyone is mingling and joking around, which is definitely good. I can now sense a change in everyone's attitude -- it seems that everyone is now very confident of our item, which boosts our morales even higher!

I mentioned that the instructors don't teach how to control facial expression yesterday. By a stroke of good luck, Daniel taught us the importance and how to control facial expression. But not without some jokes here and there:

------------------------------------
Daniel: You guys must know how to use facial expression to express your emotions. Anne, give me a sad look.
Anne: *changes her facial expression*
Daniel: No, no, that's a stone face.
------------------------------------
Daniel: Helena, give me a sad look!
Helena: *gives a facial expression*
Daniel: That's not sad. How bout angry?
Helena: Err....
Daniel: That's not angry too. Looks like you dunno how to control your facial expression.
Helena: *looks genuinely sad*
Daniel: Ah yes, perfect! That's the kind of sad face I want!
-----------------------------------

After our practice ended, most of our recital group went to eat at the nearby Kopitiam foodcourt.
It was the first time that our recital group actually hung out together! It was quite a cool experience actually. Everyone is trying to get to know each other better. Of course, there were jokes being made in the process too.

-----------------------------------
Justin: Wah, Wilfred from HCJC leh. Elitist lah! Next time become prime minister!
Serene: Huh? Wilfred wanna be PM?
Colin: What? Wilfred wanna be PM?
Nik: Huh? Wilfred wants to be a PM?
Me: =.='''
----------------------------------

Oh yeah, and apparently, Serene thought I was gay. Like what the hell? She meant it jokingly. But her perceptions change when another even greater "gay" came along....

----------------------------------
Justin: Last4 One is in town! I actually took photos with one of the Korean guys. His muscle damn big lah! And he's quite handsome too.
Everyone: *turns around and gave Justin weird looks*
----------------------------------

But we all knew he wasn't gay. But it was quite funny.

At first, Daniel wanted to come and join us for the late dinner. The first thought that popped into my mind was "Don't let Daniel order the food!" I remembered the time when my dancemates and Daniel went for dinner at the Taiwanese restaurant and ordered so much food that even 8 person can't finish.

All in all, today's recital practice is the greatest. I really am starting to like my recital mates alot more. The only sad part was the recital is coming in 9 days! I wish we had known eachother earlier. I wish it wouldn't end. The fun is just geting started. Before you know it, it's all going to end. Sigh.

I am left with 11 more days before I go back to Malaysia, but I still have lots to do! Need to start packing; do SAT practices; do something for the seniors; hang out with the seniors and my dancemates; attend open classes....... etc.

If only we could all be together forevermore..........

Facade

For the first time in weeks, I actually feel emotional. And I don't know why. Maybe it's because I just finished watching Desperate Housewives. Maybe it's because Vincent is writing his new emo song beside me. Argh. I just don't know.

You know, most of the time, I got this naggy feeling that I'm not really in touch with my emotions. Like sometimes I have to force myself to smile or laugh. I haven't really felt joyous or sad or anything at all for the past days. It's like I'm mechanical or something.

Sometimes, when I go down to the dining hall for mealtime, I have to see this particular group of female seniors that I really dislike. Actually, I don't hate all of them, but just a few particular. It's like they're fucking bimbos or something. I find 2 specific girls fucking shallow in their perception of ppl, because they only judge ppl by their appearance. "Oohh, look at that hot guy!" or "She looks great!", then they will somehow flirt their way to get to know them. They act like they're the hottest girls around, but in reality, they look nothing near that standard.

But the most disturbing part is how they failed to consider the fact that these "friends" they made are just putting up an act. A facade. Ah, that word comes up often doesn't it?

"Facade"

You see, everyone puts it up. It gets tiring sometimes. Sometimes, I just wanna be who I am -- me. The thing about facade it that it will wear off sooner or later, exposing a person's true colours. The colours can either be gracefully bright or dangerously dark.

When you are able to be who you really are, then you know you have found trustworthy friends. Friends who know who you are and understand you completely. I am glad to have found these true friends. Sometimes, I just got to remember that it's not worth the effort and energy to bitch about the ppl I don't like, instead I should focus on my true friends.

Thank you guys for being there. =)

--------------------------------------------------------------

I think the other reason I feel emo is because I feel that I am very lousy in dancing. Ryan's class yesterday made me realize that I have a long way to go. Today, I went to the PE studio to practice his choreo, and no matter how much I've practiced, I feel like it still doesn't look good. Perhaps because I wasn't focusing during the class? Maybe I didn't pay enough attention to the details? Or how bout this -- Maybe I'm just not good enough?

Sometimes, I wish I have an instructor that can teach me everything about dance. Not only technically stuff like how to control facial expressions, how to isolate this, how to do that. I am talking about EVERYTHING about dance, like what dance is about, what hip hop is about, how to display emotions properly.

Sigh. I think some of you guys might not even understand what I'm talking about.

I may be better than some ppl, but there's still tons of ppl ahead of me. It's going to be a long and steep uphill journey from here.

There's recital practice tomorrow. It's the last practice before the full dress rehearsal on Sunday. Guys, let's do this! I am considering going for Ann Tan's open class tomorrow too. These may be the last few times I'm able to learn from her. I think I may ask some of the instructors for advice too tomorrow so that I'll know how to improve myself.

Holiday In Review

I can't believe how fast time flows by. It seems November is approaching the end and yet I still have quite a few things that's undone. I think it's about time I review the holiday checklist that I've created during the start of the holidays--

Things to do/look forward to during the holidays:

1. Class outing @ East Coast Park Forget it. This is DEFINITELY NOT going to happen.
   
2. OG outing!!!
   
3. Complete holiday assignments >.< Halfway there =)
   
4. Study for SAT Still am
   
5. Dance, dance, dance! Definitely still going on
   
6. Exercise more Believe it or not, I did
   
7. Mix music Ongoing
   
8. Choreo something with someone Ok, with the amount of time left, I don't think it's possible
   
9. Hanging out with friends Absolutely! =D
   
10. Do something crazy (like jumping off a building getting drunk, overnight but not sleeping etc.) Not yet, but soon
    
11. Do something for the seniors Doing it
    
12. Play games I still do
    
13. OSchool Recital (Can't wait) Damn excited for it! It's looking great
    
14. Last but not least -- Go home I miss Malaysian food!
    

Though it may look like I have a lot of things going on, in reality, there's not much. Everyday, I'll be studying a little for SAT ("constant revision" was what Yew Wei always said), then I'll be either watching TV series, playing games, going to the gym, going out or dancing. It's fun at first, but it gets kinda dull when the routine repeats itself everyday. Even dancers will get sick of the same choreography.

SAT is not as easy as I thought it was. I think I need to really do more practice for it.

I'm actually quite proud of how much I've progressed through my holiday assignments. I've finished Math Tutorial 13, Halogenoalkanes tutorial, and Chem Holiday Package. I'm quite surprised by my own determination. Usually, I don't finish my holiday assignments (Err, Mum, now you know). This is actually the first time I'm trying to complete them.

I also started working out at the gym too. Amazing, eh? With the amount of food I'm gorging down, I think I ought to keep my body in shape. So don't be surprise if you see this short guy lifting weights in the gym. Haha

-----------------------------------------------------------

I met up with my OG mates yesterday! I really, really, really missed them! The 8 of us (Regina, Charlene, Pei Wen, Teck Yuke, Jun Xin, Zhi Yang, Li Jie and me) met at City Hall and went to Thai Express @ Esplanade to have dinner. After that, we went to the rooftop to chat and hang around. Not surprisingly, we spent alot of time cam whoring too. It was fun to catch up on each other's lives and just chat about our lives. I hope we can meet up again sometime soon!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Ryan's lyrical class today was super-duper hard! I managed to persuade all of my dancemates, save for Freddie, to attend Ryan's class. They are quite unfortunate in a way, because today's choreo is probably the hardest out of all of his classes I've attended. Almost the whole class, even the regulars, have trouble catching up with Ryan's choreo away. And there was unusually large amount of ppl attending Ryan's class today. The lack of space, combined with Ryan's extremely difficult choreo, made me looked like a total dumbass in class today. I hope I don't look like a total moron on video.

Actually, I think I haven't been practicing dance enough. Ryan's class today made me realized that I need to buck up alot for dance. Guess I am heading to the studio tomorrow.

It's Coming

Hey guys, sorry for the lack of updates! Instead of being too free till I've have nothing to update, I've actually got some things going on right now so I didn't really have the time to update.

First thing's first:



I heard from the instructors that the tickets are selling very fast! The other day, Nik got about 20 tickets for his classmates and I am starting to panic if the tickets will eventually be sold out before I could buy them. I am collating the orders and cash so that I can buy in bulk this coming Thursday or Saturday. If the tickets sold out on the day I plan to buy, I'll go jump off a building or something.

The recital is looking great right now. The past Sunday's recital practice was definitely the dopest! It was 5 straight hours of dance! (instead of the usual 2 hours) Daniel kinda realized that we missed 3 practice sessions so he made up for it.

Daniel changed the storyline for our item, which was unfortunate, because our lead female actress decided to withdraw out of personal reasons. Yay!Rina also backed out, which was quite fortunateunfortunate. So we're down to 20. I really liked the previous storyline actually, but I guess the new one is not bad at all. Daniel also helped us to clean our steps and formations patiently.

Other than the fact that Rina backed out of the item (if she had done it sooner, all those things wouldn't have happened. Ironic), we had lots of fun bonding and clicking with each other. It seems that everyone is comfortable with each other, so everyone lets their hair down, even Daniel. Daniel became chatty and shared with us some of his dancing experience.

Finally, it seems that our recital item is solid! OSchool, watch out this coming vetting! We are better and stronger than ever before! Even though the practice was the best in recent times, I hope we will continue to improve and be the best!

---------------------------------------------------------

Had dinner with Nik after the practice. Had an interesting discussion with him about facades and human personalities.

Actually, sometimes I feel like I'm putting up a facade. Especially when I'm in school. It's like I have this feeling that I must act "socially acceptable" and I cannot really speak my mind sometimes. It's quite frustrating actually. I sometimes feel the same way with some of the J1 dancers too. In school, most of the time, the ppl I really let my hair down are some of the ppl in my class, and the dancers (especially the senior dancers, not surprisingly).

I wonder why do I even need a facade. I think I would be much happier if I can just be, you know, me.

So I've decided that from now on, I'll just be who I am -- myself. I don't care if a person don't like my comment. That person can just shove it up his ass if he wants to. I'll keep my cool and be me. =)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I didn't follow some of my classmates to send Yew Wei off to Australia at the airport. I think I have said my farewells to him the other time. So instead, I had a hearty dinner at the Aston's outlet near my hostel, with Vincent. He was gracious to sponsor the meal because thought he might die from eating hostel food.

Spending time with seniors is important because this might be the last few times I'll be seeing them before they just head to their next path in life, be it university, NS, or working.

"So little time, so much to do"

Nostalgic

It's been so long since I've had this much fun on a Saturday.

Since the end of Hip Hop 3 course, my dance clique haven't met together on Saturdays. Plus, I've stopped going for Saturday's open classes too, since I've decided to pursue lyrical hip hop by attending Ryan's open class on Thursdays. So imagine my delight when I saw Ie-Ching and Brian again today (though it's not that I don't miss Nik, just that I've seen him very often).

So, Nik, Ie-Ching and me went for Daniel's hip hop I open class, like we used too. Quite nostalgic. Heh. xD But unfortunately, Brian could not join us because he injured his back recently, so he could only watched on as we danced. I feel quite bad for him, actually. (If you're reading this, Brian, I hope you'll get well soon!)

Daniel's choreo was quite fun today. We learnt the harlem shake, monastery (though we have already learnt this before), and C-walk! Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake! And I like the C-walk variations that he taught, like the side step and the Charlie Charleston. On the whole, his choreo today wasn't hard to catch, but it was energy-draining as usual, with all the large movements and everything. I'll post the vid once he (does) uploads it.

Actually, me and Ie-Ching wanted to go for Ann Tan's open class straightaway after Daniel's, but Brian and Nik didn't want to, so I guess maybe next time. It's been very long since I went for her lessons, and she was the one who first introduced me to lyrical hip hop. Ie-Ching told me an unfortunate news about Ann. I wish I could post it here, but I feel that I should respect her privacy. But the bottom line is, I am really, really, really, really, going to miss Ann Tan's lessons even more. I think I must go for at least a few more of her lessons before I go back to Malaysia, because I am never be able to see her again after that. T.T

Anyway, after the lesson, the 4 of us went to Studio Wu at SMU to check out the place (though actually I've been there before). And guess who I saw? I saw Sheila again! It was a pleasant surprise! Haven't seen her since the Street Jazz sabbaticals. She's a really dope and caring instructor, something like Ann Tan. Haha.

We checked the courses and stuff like that. But looking at the price, I was tempted to ask them: "Do you guys have financial aid?". Their courses costs twice as much as the course in OSchool but I heard the quality is better. I sometimes think that their act of capitalism might have hindered the people who really wants to learn dance. Like me.

After that, the four of us went to Bugis and eat, eat, and eat! It's like we walked and talked, then we eat and talk. Then the cycle repeats itself. We bought bubble tea, then went to eat at Noodle House. Then we walked around and ate desserts at Ministry of Food. Ministry of Food is DAMN NICE! But the price is DAMN EX also! Haiz. It seems that everything good is expensive.

But the most important things were the things that were said. We took the time to catch up on each other's lives. Something interesting was brought up. Ie-Ching asked whether we would want to join competitions next year, like Danceworks! Frankly speaking, I have thought of it, but I wonder whether we have enough expereince to hold our own feet. But I don't mind participating, but it's up to the rest of the clique. And I think it's going to set up some very awkward situations, because MAD is going to particpate too. Hmm...

Today just made me realized how much I love my dancemates. It's so unusual because we don't see each other often, but we do care for each other alot like how Ie-Ching always helped me out. I hope I can spend more time with them before I'm going back to Malaysia.

It seems that I have alot of stuff to do before going back to Malaysia, what's with taking SAT, recital training, hanging out with friends and dance pracs. As always, time is never enough.

Just Gettin' Started

Sec 4 Malaysian Scholars Pic during 2007 Grad Night @ Ritz Calrton

Why is it that by the time we get to know our friends the best and just started having fun, then it would be time to leave? I bet countless ppl have thought of that before. Only till the end of something, be it school, performance, or a journey, then we look back at the times fondly, remembering the highlights and forgetting the bad moments. Perhaps we look back with a tinge of regret, wondering what we could have done differently, before we shelve the memories away.

Memories.

One of my classmates, Yew Wei, is leaving for Australia next Monday, because he seems to like the Australian life better. Actually, I kind of regretted that I didn't get to know him better, though I know he's somewhat an introvert.

My class had a farewell dinner for Yew Wei at Junction 8's Cafe Cartel on Tuesday night. The food was wonderful (well, so is the price tag, btw) but I think that our class sort of broke into our usual cliques and just ignored the fact that it was supposed to be Yew Wei's farewell dinner. After dinner, we went to the open area on the rooftop and sat down in a circle. and we played games and chit-chatted till like there's no tomorrow. Yeah right. If only that's true. Again, we had our own conversations before taking a few pics and leave.

I was feeling kinda bad for Yew Wei because it seems like the farewell is not sincere enough. Where's the sincerity, guys? Seriously. Actually, I was hoping that our class could do something special before Yew Wei leaves. If not special, then at least something fun that can bond the class, like going cycling at East Coast Park or smth.

What happened to our class? I wonder. At the start of the year, we were so bonded. But now, it seems that our class has a serious gender segregation and numerous cliques. What happened to the time we celebrated Valerie's birthday? I remember standing in the Central Plaza, flipping the card, and feeling proud of my class for pulling something so special for our fellow classmate. I also remember at the start of the year, when my whole class would just put our difference aside, and just sit down in a circle and chat.

My class is not totally dessimated. In fact, my class is probably of the better classes out of the J1 cohort. Other classes doesn't have a Christmas BBQ party (which I will be missing, unfortunately, because I'll be back in Malaysia), neither do they have their own "haunted trail"s, or Sentosa outings. My class also had the most attendance for our fac event!

First class outing/BBQ @ Yew Wei's house

Ice Skating @ Fuji Ice Palace

Class Outing @ Sentosa with Mr ShyamAthena Faculty Event: Envy of the 7 Seas

08S6E is good, but it can be great. I'll say it plainly. I think we can be MUCH MORE better than we are now if ppl in my class actually care about each other. I hate it when one calls the other "Jock-head" behind the back, then another one says "bimbo" discreetly. Everyone have their own weakness, so I hope we just tolerate it and get along with each other better. Is that too much to ask?

I have all these thoughts in my head for quite some time, and I think it's about time I voice them. I don't wanna look back after I've graduated and say "Oh, my class? It's ok. ". I want to be able to say "My class? They are FABULOUS! I really miss my classmates!". So that's why I've decided that maybe I should lend a hand in organizing stuff (be it outings or birthday celebrations) if the person-in-charge is unable, or incapable.
Let's make a difference, 08S6E!

-------------------------------------------------------

As for Yew Wei, I hope you'll enjoy yourself over at Australia. (Though I know you probably won't be reading this). Remember to come back and visit us next year when you have the chance!

"See you later" doesn't mean goodbye.

-------------------------------------------------------

On the other hand, the A-Levels are over for most of the seniors. They are probably hanging out and drinking boozehaving fun. I'm looking forward to hanging out with some of my favourite seniors (you know who you are =) ) sometime soon, hopefully before I am going back to Malaysia. I really am going to miss them.

Oh yeah, I'm also looking forward to spend quality time with my dancemates this Saturday. It's been a long time since we last hanged out together! Everybody is busy with his/her own life, what's with college, exams, and recital practices. Too bad Diana will be missing it though.

Believe it or not, my OG is having an OG BBQ next Wednesday! I'm really excited about it! Imagine thinking ur OG (orientation group, for the non-HC readers) is dead and dispersed, then suddenly there's going to be an OG BBQ! It'll be at Pei Wen's (my OG leader) new home! Yay! My OG has been very bonded from the start, so I guess it's not much surprise that my OG is not dead like most OGs are. If only my class have the same spirit as my OG....

Which these activities to look forward to, it seems that the party has just gettin' started!

Can I Have This Dance

Holidays have been a peaceful affair, to say the least. It's a break from the ever-fast-paced school life, and finally it feels as though there's time to stop racing, sit down, and take a breather. Other than doing holiday assignments, preparing for SATs, and dancing, there's nothing much to update on. Hence the lack of updates.

Apparently, Daniel didn't mention an extra practice in the end, so that means I could go for Ryan's Lyrical Hip Hop class after all. This time, I was joined by Hui Hua and Pao Pao. I got to say that Pao Pao did quite well for a first-timer. This time, Ryan used the same song he used 2 weeks ago, but he changed some steps and added on more steps. Some parts were quite hard to catch though. Take a look at the video. Thank goodness I did not ridicule myself again on the video. xD

By the way, Ryan asked Darren, Zaihar, and Fredy to join him in a four-man-filming, but halfway through, Ryan forgot his steps. The he filmed again. And he forgot AGAIN. Another filming. He screwed up AGAIN. On the fourth filming, he also forgotten the steps AGAIN, then he just gave up and did Jazz techniques. (You can spot it from the opening scene if you look closely enough). That's Ryan for you. Haha.

------------------------------------------------------------

Finally found the time and company to watch High School Musical 3 last night. Almost everyone I know have watched it, and being a fanboy of sorts myself (yes, I've watched HSM1&2 a few times), I know I must watch it. Before watching it, I've had some very mixed reviews of the movie, ranging from "terrible-on-screen-hanky-panky-yucky-dewey" (usually guys gave this comment) to "just ok lah" to "Wonderful! I've watched it 3 times already!" (not surprisingly, those who told me that are usually girls). So I was very confused in terms of what to expect of the movie.

Yesterday, Vincent and Bing Sheng (2 of my seniors) accompanied me to watch the movie. In my opinion, I would give it about 3-3.5 stars out of 5. It's not exactly a flop (though there are a few random scenes from the movie), but it's not as great as High School Musical 1.

I liked the elaborate sets and fanciful costumes, and (not surprisingly) the dance steps. I like the number "A Night To Remember" particularly because I like the dance steps. I saw how they incorporated hip hop into waltz, which is quite original. Being trained in drama for 4 years (I was in English Drama in High School. Surprising, eh?), I came to appreciate the costumes and sets. So it wasn't any wonder that I enjoyed the show.

Although the storyline can get kinda cheesy at times, but I like the emotions displayed in the movie. Some guys might find it too gay/feminine, but I don't really mind these, as long as its not TOO feminine. (Ok, I realized you guys might not understand what it means. Nvm.) That's the reason I don't shy away from lyrical hip hop, like some guys do.

The other reason I find HSM3 to be okay because it coincidentally raises some issues that I've been thinking for quite some time.

What is my future going to be?

Which university?

Overseas or local?

What to study?

Am I moving too fast?

Perhaps too slow?

These questions have been on my mind ever since the end of JC1. Just one more year of JC life before everyone moves on to their separate paths (some ppl have already done so, like Yew Wei who is going to migrate over to Australia in less than 10 days). It made me realized that there's not much time left I can spend with my friends, so I must try my best to make the most out of it. I don't want to look back my JC life with tinges of regret, filled with what-ifs and what-could-be-done-differently.

The whole context of a possible future also brings up a few more questions--

Next year, will/should I join MAD?

Should I sign up for popping or focus more on hip hop?

Will my class be a united one over next year?

If I go overseas, how will my family, freinds and dancemates react? How much will I miss them?

After the J2s leave, especially the Malaysian Scholars and the dancing gang @ PE studio, what is school life going to be like?

Life is full of questions, apparently more so than the answers it offers. One could only foresee so much, yet there is much more to be foretold. The beauty of life.

I am ending off by dedicating the following song to my J2 seniors:

"Can I Have This Dance"

Take my hand, take a breath

Pull me close and take one step

Keep your eyes locked on mine,

And let the music be your guide.

Won't you promise me (now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget)

We'll keep dancing (to keep dancing) wherever we go next

(chorus)

It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you

It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do

And with every step together, we just keep on getting better

So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)

Can I have this dance