Sentimental

Sentimental: "expressive of or appealing to sentiment, esp. the tender emotions and feelings, as love, pity, or nostalgia: a sentimental song"

People naturally think about the past. It's basic intellectual nature. But sometimes, the past is just everything people can think of. Now I am thinking only about the past too.

After I just finished posting the last post, I chatted with Brandon on msn and I learned that performers are supposed to meet at SBG today to get all the remaining goodie bags. Since I was feeling sentimental about Change concert (ya, can you believe it?), I went to SBG. We were supposed to bring back as many goodie bags home. But we scavenged through the goodie bags and get the things that we want and basically dump the rest.

Though not many turned up today, it was a joy to be able to see the Change ppl again. In actuality, I miss the ppl and not the concert. I miss the times we had talking cock and telling jokes. I miss the gossips and rumours. Walking around the empty stage, I felt kinda weird. It was jus 24 hours ago that instruments and speakers and equipments were lying around, and the stage looked so impressive. As suddenly as the stage was piled with things, the stage became empty.

As I walked around the stage, I recalled vivid moments of the concert and rehearsals. The stage right where the dancers slacked around and practise dances. The stage left with the band. Times where everyone was resting (or more accurately, sleeping) at the backstage. The whooshes. The prep talks which Hui Hua gave. The gossiping sessions. The harmonists. The singers. The hairstyling. "Looking for tissue paper". The consert itself. The fooling around. It all surged through my mind in an instant while I was walking around the stage. I seriously think I have a serious case of PCS (post-change-syndrome). I can't help feeling nostalgic because I have a lot of friends that were involced in this, be it ex-classmates like Brendan and ZhenYu, or new friends like Mavis or Germaine, or dancers like the MAD BBoys. It was nostalgic. It was sentimental.

I bet many ppl don't understand why Change is important to me (especially the bboys). Well, I'm not in Ge Fang. I'm not in MAD. I jus joined like two weeks ago. The concert was ok but not great. So why I'm so emotionally attached to Change? Well, lousy or not, Change was the first performance of the year for me. I didn't have SHAKE! Dance Night. It was the first time I was recognized as a dancer and it was the first time I got to work with the bboys. It was also a reunion of some sort for me since I haven't talked to my ex-classmates for so long. Everyday when I go for rehearsal, I'm meeting ppl that I like to work with. So when the concert ends just like that, I feel kinda deserted. That's why I'm emotionally attached. I feel sentimental towards the concert.

The MAD guys probably will not understand how I feel. They think Change was a piece of cake for them. Well, actually, I gotta admit the dance was quite easy. And they did not mixed around with the other performers. And after this, they will still get to work with each other again. So its natural they did not feel emotionally attached to the concert. I couldn't blame them too since Chee Yang did not gave them the respect they deserve. Anyway, I know I will miss them. They will go on to other performances like Inspire'08 and Tapestry while I will go on to Hip Hop 2 and 3. I seriously hope I can perform for OSchool Recital at the end of year. I also pray hard for the chance to perform with them again in the future.

As we finished moving all the goodie bags, I took a last walk around the stage with the other performers and did a last baby-freeze at the centerstage, since I didnt do it properly for last night's concert. Then we all walked out of the stage area and took a last look before closing the gate. As soon as the gate was closed, I know that I must cure my PCS soon and get on with my life. With things to mug, PW to do and dances to catch up on, I know I must snap out of it soon and get on with my life. But for now, I want to remember memories of Change and wallow in my sentiments.

We left the SBG as soon as we finished clearing all the goodie bags. Brandon, Germaine and me went to Mr. Prata to have dinner. We ate while talking about Change and all the things that was going around in Change. Some rumours were confirmed, and some gossips became nonsense as we shared our experience in Change. We even talked about some personal problems. I havent talked to Brandon since Graduation Day last year. It was definitely a meaningful discussion today. And thanks to Brandon for the free cab ride.

I feel comforted that I could say my goodbyes to the people in Change tomorrow night during the Post-Change-Celebration at Sakae Sushi. There will be people that I think I most probably won't see again, and I wanna say a proper farewell to them. I hope the MAD bboys will go too even though they don't feel emotionally attached, and even though they will have their MAD elections tomorrow. I know that some ppl have urgent matters and can't go like Pao Pao (have fun in China dude) and Zhou Jing (Good luck for your operation), but I think most of the other performers will go since I suspect they too have PCS.

Well, I think that's all for now. I think I shall go rest up for tomorrow.