Well, I just finished reading Yilina's blog. Yilina was my angel (of the Angel and Mortal fame). I still remember how she tried to trick me into believing that she's a guy in the letter. Haha. Very funny. Anyway, there are things that she blogged that I just feel so true. In her blog, Yilina blogged about her mother saying that as a person grows older, every day counts. This got me thinking about aging and also death, which will inevitably happen to each and everyone of us.
Actually, whenever I look at my parent's faces and see their wrinkles, the reality hit me that they are aging, which is as surreal as me growing up. Most of the time, I'm just thinking about myself maturing into a young man, failing to realize that as I am growing, my parents are going through the process of aging. They are only 44, and I can already the scars of aging on them. Though they are still going strong, I know there will come a day when I would be taking care of them, as they are taking care of me now, since I am the eldest child in my family.
And of course, there will come a time when death claims them. How I wish that day will not arrive, forever. Sometimes, I just feel sad that this is inevitable. The topic of death has been underlying in our family discussions, but it has been getting frequent. Sometimes, my parents would go: "We want to give you the best as long as we are still here" or "We hope you can fend for yourself when we are not around". And they hinted that old age will cripple them and bring them death in the end in an unobvious manner.
I have a good friend that has lost his father, and my parents know about him too. He is working very hard in his academics and cca performance just so he can have a better chance to get a scholarship next time. He knows that he got to feed his family next time so he is working very hard. And my parents are aware of his plight too. And they would draw comparisons between his attitude to studies and mine. My parents would point out that he is serious in his studies and I'm not. Actually, although I don't show it, I do care about my studies. It's just that I feel that during I can still play and relax even during my pursuit in studies. That's why I still pursue my interest in music and dance while studying.
My belief is that being a teenager is the best time to enjoy youth, though that doesn't mean studies are neglectable. There's no harm in doing both at the same time, so why not? And if we are too engrossed in reaching our academic goals, we would miss the fun while getting there.
And another thing is, as Yilina pointed out, JC life is too fast. I think it's like a tornado. The oast six months is like a blur to me that I can't really remember all the activities because there are simply too many. I still remember when it all started from the Jumpstart Orientation (gosh I miss my OG. OG07 is the best!) then CT division, and then there was the campfire finale. What comes next is a series of events that chained themselves one after another. Class tests and lecture tests. Tutorials. CNY celebration. Post-Orientation-Party. Council campaign. Hip Hop lessons. PW. More tests. SHAKE! Dance Night (Yes, i was involved as a helper). Then there was Change concert (I miss you guys!). It was neatly stacked next to each other that it gets exhausting.
The past 6 months is almost like something from a drama series. When one story arc ends, another would follow. That is why I started this blog in the first place - I want to record and track the events that is happening to me. I want a place for me to reflect on my thoughts. Life is a blur and I just want a place for me to stop and stare.
And I am glad for this holiday. It was badly needed for me to get some proper rest and revision for the upcoming tests. I'm going to end with a poem that my classmate Yew Wei (yes, the one that is freaking tall) introduced to me. I have a copy of it pinned up beside my bed in the boarding school to remind me to take life slow and easy. Here goes:
SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
Peace.
